You Know You Love LA

If you’re one of the 40 million visitors to Los Angeles this year you’re probably going to want to blend in and not look like a tourist or business traveler. Of course everyone knows you’re not going to need the parka or down mittens, but if you really want to go native CNN has some tips on how best to pull it off. Here’s a sample.

“Be discreet about celebrity sightings. If you’re eager to see someone famous, that defines you as a non-Angeleno. But if you really want a celebrity story to take back home, you can get one a lot more discreetly than by hanging around Nobu or Chateau Marmont and gawking at the patrons. Instead, go to the fancy Pavilions grocery store on Heathercliff Road in Malibu. On a Saturday morning, you can’t throw a rock without hitting someone who’s at least been a regular on a network TV show. But you might not recognize him or her — because at Pavilions, unlike Nobu, the celebrities aren’t wearing copious makeup.”

“In Venice Beach, don’t be nonplussed by anything. If every day is like an R-rated variety show overseen by an LSD aficionado — and in Venice Beach it is — you deal with it. You don’t go slack-jawed when you see a five-legged dog relieving himself on a square of grass while mustachioed women and men with elaborate facial tattoos full of typos look on.”

“Don’t mention the weather. The wonderful monotony of not-too-hot, low-humidity days and mild nights is taken for granted. Weather isn’t a topic of conversation — unless something really weird is happening, like, you know, rain.”

Photo: Wikimedia